More About Point of View

I've been asked to explain more about point of view. Basically, the first thing a writer needs to do before writing a story is to decide who will be telling the story. Will it be a character who will refer to themselves in the first person, as "I"? Or will it be a narrator who will tell the story from a little distance, telling about a certain character, such as "Joe", as in "Joe said." Or perhaps you want your narrator to be a roaming camera, able to see, hear and know all.

For instance, your main character, let's say his name is Joe, is telling the story, so the pronoun used throughout will be "I". This is "First Person Point of View" and only those things that Joe sees, hears, or could possibly know, can be written about in the story.

First person and Third person are the points of view most commonly used. With third person, we have a couple of sub-sets. Someone outside the story would be omnicient, meaning 'like God' and able to see and hear and know everything about everyone in the story. Limited third person means a "narrator" telling the story as if they were inside a character.

Moving from one character to another should be done very carefully. If not, the reader will be confused and have to keep flipping back through the pages to work out where they are viewing the story from.

A simple way to understand point of view is to think of it as a camera device:

• implanted into one character's head, unable to move from there, with the story told by that one person who addresses himself or herself as "I". This is First Person Point of View.
• implanted into one character's head, and able to move from there into the head of another, but only after all pictures and sound have been removed. Thus, the 'camera' does not take any information from one character to another. The character that has the camera implanted is the one who will be named, as "Joe said" or "Joe did or thought"; then "Mary did or thought" and so on. This is one sub-set of Third Person Point of View.
• implanted into only one characters head, and stays there for the whole story. With this point of view, the character will be named as, "Joe said" or "Joe did this or that" or Joe thought". This is a limited Third Person Point of View, meaning that it is limited to only one character.
• able to move freely into the heads of all characters, knowing everything, but not letting the characters know everything unless the character has seen, heard or experienced it for themselves in the story. The omniscient narrator sees everything from within and without, is able to roam above and through the characters. This is Omniscient Point of View - like God, able to see, know and understand everything about everyone.

I hope this explains it a little better for the person who posted a comment. The only other thing I can suggest is that you read a selection of books and try to see for yourself how the writer reveals the story - whether it's from the view of one character only or from many, or from within or without the character/s.

Punctuation - the colon

The function of the colon is:

• To signal the special relationship between the parts before, and the parts after it. (Every man and woman has three aims: to live, to love, to learn.)
• To introduce a list. (I have mailed to you the following items: copy of cash book to year end, cheque butts, and deposit slips.)
• For the introuction of a formal or long quotation with such words as reads or read and writes or write. (Graeme Kinross-Smith, in his "Writer: A Working Guide for New Writers, writes of Virginia Wolf: "[She] expressed, more cogently than Richardson or Joyce perhaps, the ideas that led to the new way of looking at the world in fiction.") Note that a colon is also used before the subtitle of a book, as above.
• The colon is also used to: separate information, as in chapter and verse (John 3:16); act and scene (King Lear, Act Three: Scene Two); hour and minute (8:20 a.m.); volume and page reference (World Book, 8:320).

There are more but too many to list here. Every writer should have a good book on punctuation on their bookshelf so make this a priority for your reference library.

Punctuation – the Apostrophe

The apostrophe is one of the most misused punctuation marks in the English language, and its misuse is growing. The apostrophe is used for the following reasons:

• in place of a missing letter in contracted words, such as don't instead of do not, it's instead of it is, they're instead of they are, or an omission, such as the year of '66.
• to indicate possession, as in Tom's ball, Descartes's theorem, the judges' rulings. (Note that adding the apostrophe and an extra 's' to a word that already ends in 's' produces a different sound to that when only the apostrophe is added.)
• to indicate possession to the last word in a phrase or a compound – my mother-in-law's couch; the Member for Canberra's vote
• to indicate possession for joint ownership, the apostrophe is added to the last name on the list, for example, John and Mary's anniversary. If the thing is not owned jointly, use an apostrophe for each name, as in John's and Mary's birthday
• the apostrophe is also needed when you want to indicate a duration in time, for instance, in one minute's time…… or after ten years' experience…….
• you will also add an apostrophe to the word before a gerund, for example, In the event of David's resigning…… Note the two separate meanings in the following sentences, just by adding or not adding an apostrophe: I object to the visitor's speaking Italian. I object to the visitors speaking Italian.
• Use the apostrophe with certain plurals, such as do's and don'ts and M.D.'s

Don't use the apostrophe for phrases like one's and two's – this should be ones and twos, or for the '60's – should be the 60s, or the sixties.

Punctuation - Quote Marks and Commas

When you have finished your first-level edit, you need to go back over your work and check all punctuation marks. Punctuation marks go inside quotation marks, not outside. If you've made this mistake often, use the search and replace option to fix these. Check to see that you have used the same type of quotation marks throughout the work, that is, one quote mark or a double quote mark.

Check to make sure that you haven't used too many commas or other 'stop' signs for your reader, or too few. Sometimes, the wrong placement of a comma can lead to confusion. I recently read an article about food and diet and came across this sentence: "Don't eat any foods, that contain fats or sugars." It's a poorly written sentence anyway, but the comma makes it seem as if the writer is advising the reader not to eat any foods! The sentence would have been better written thus: "Don't eat foods containing fats or sugars.

An unnecessary comma is more of a distraction than none, so only use commas where they will promote easier reading.

Editing Process

After completing an edit of a passage, check it again to see that your work is seamless. When we change one thing around, others parts are affected. Make sure that each sentence blends in with its neighbours, and that no scars or amputations are obvious. Your reader should not be able to detect where you have cut, added, or moved words and sentences around.

W. Somerset Maugham said that "A good style should show no sign of effort. What is written should seem like a happy accident."

Our Rich Language

The English language is rich in words and phrases that convey meaning. Use words that will conjure up the sight you want your readers to see. Ensure that the imagery you are using will appeal to your readers' senses and that it will help them to visualise, to put them into the world you are creating on the page. For truly descriptive work, use metaphors and similes; but don't just put them in for the sake of it, and use them sparingly. Make sure that your metaphors are not obvious – you want to guide your reader, not drag them by the hair! The words you use, the similes and the metaphors, should all enhance meaning.

Aristotle said: "The greatest thing in style is to have a command of metaphor." In Greek, metaphor means 'transport'; the idea is to transport a meaning from one realm to another - something like language in stereo. But make sure that your metaphors are seamless, woven into your story subtly - a string of metaphors strung together just for the sake of it would make very boring reading.

A metaphor can make us see familiar things differently. Our language is rich in meaning; use it well and make your work shine.

Qualifiers

Weed out all those unnecessary qualifiers, described by E.B. White as: "leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood of words." Some are ludicrous, contradictory and very fatal, while others diminish your ideas. If deleting the qualifier is not enough, find one good, strong word that will do the job, and use it. Adjectives and adverbs are all very well in their place, but if used to bolster a weak sentence or a weak verb, cut them out and find stronger verbs.

Remember that it is far better to show, than it is to tell.

For example:
(poor writing)
The train suddenly picked up speed. Before long it was going very fast, so fast that it swayed dangerously as it sped down the track.

(edited version)
Without warning, the train increased its speed. Passengers, jolted from their morning papers when the carriages rocked wildly from side-to-side, gasped and lunged for hand-holds.

As you can see, the first piece of writing is weak; there is no life in it. The second is better; the reader can see and feel what the characters are experiencing. Words like 'suddenly', 'very', and 'dangerously' are the weak links here so I cut them out. Then, rather than 'tell' the reader what was happening, I used words that would 'show' the action. Stronger verbs, such as jolted, gasped, and lunged, help to create the atmosphere I was aiming for. As you can see, adverbs have their place too; I added 'wildly' to enhance the effect I was trying to achieve but a final edit might see me remove it altogether.

Consider editing as a cleaning chore - you are cleaning out the redundant, and polishing up what remains. If a sentence can stand without a word, cut it out. If the sentence, or the passage does not convey quite what you want to say, add words or sentences, or re-write it all together.

Remove every word that is there just for the effect.

Above all, aim for strong writing by eliminating all those words that weaken it.

Verbs - full of life

Verbs are doing words so you should aim to make the verbs in your writing work hard. Avoid lifeless verbs that will kill your sentence. Again, we come back to the verb 'to be'; sentences built on to be are usually unwieldy. With lifeless verbs you will usually find an excess of nouns, which slows the pace of your work down. Look at the phrases in your work and see if one word will do the same job. For instance:

prefer is better than a preference for;

tends to sounds infinitely better than has a tendency to.

The stronger your verbs, the stronger your work will be.

Voice

The voice, or tone of your work is important. If you want to avoid having your work sound limp and lifeless, aim for the active voice. Using active voice will give your work the ring of authority; it will come over as crisp and professional, direct and to the point.

When you write in the passive voice, the action is done to the subject, as in The ball was thrown by Mary to Rosa. When you use active voice, the subject of your sentence is the doer; Mary threw the ball to Rosa. To weed out all those passive instances, look for combinations of the verb 'to be' and past participles of another verb. For instance: was posted, are seen, is urged, were reported, has been completed. Strengthen your work by changing these to the active voice.

Of course, there are times when the passive voice is necessary. In technical writing for instance: The air is heated by being circulated over the coils. You will also use passive voice if the object of the action is more important than the subject: Our meeting was postponed. Sometimes, too, the subject is unknown, in which case the passive voice is the only one that will work. For example: The will was unsigned. The art works were stolen from the gallery. There may also be times that you want to avoid naming a specific person: The missing art works were returned.

Be careful that you haven't switched from active to passive voice mid-sentence, as in: Such a program costs little, and many are benefited by it. A better way to say this is: Such a program costs little and benefits many.

A work that is all passive writing will be boring, and vice versa, but your writing should be predominately active.

Clichés and Hackneyed Expressions

Your first-level edit will weed out every cliché and hackneyed expression that most writers use in their first drafts. George Orwell said that: "Modern writing at its worst … consists in gumming together long strips of words which have already been set in order by someone else and making the results presentable by sheer humbug."

There are many clichés and overused expressions – too many to list here - but you'll find lists of these on the internet, or in books from your library or local bookshop shelf. You can even purchase a software program (A Cliché Cleaner) to do the job for you; I have never used one so cannot speak about the effectiveness or otherwise of these programs.

If a word or phrase that you've used seems familiar, it's probably been used many times elsewhere, in which case you need to find some other way of expressing the same thought or idea.

More Editing - singular/plural

During your first-level editing, you will also be looking for singular/plural usage. Firstly, look for those words that need an irregular ending to make them plural. For example, antenna is singular; if you are writing about more than one radio or TV antenna, the plural is antennas; if you are writing about insects, the plural you need is antennae. Here are a few more:

datum (singular), data (plural) (Note: colloquially data is used as singular)
bacterium (singular), bacteria (plural)
criterion is (singular), criteria (plural)
medium is (singular,) media (plural)
stratum is (singular,) strata (plural)

If you're not sure, use your dictionary, which will tell you if a word is singular or plural. It surprises me sometimes that many writers obviously do not check word usage; this is the sign of the amateur and many editors, when they see a work peppered with mistakes like this, will not read further. Of course, if the work is brilliantly original, or if you're a 'known name' a publishing house will work with you to correct errors, but if not, you need to get it right first time.

As you work through, editing your manuscript, you will come to realise that the actual writing takes but a fraction of time compared to the work you will need to do afterwards.

Watch things like:

sister-in-law (singular) and sisters-in-law (plural). I often see 'sister-in-laws' which is incorrect. Colloquially, we do see 'the in-laws' but this is not quite the same.

Collective nouns refer to groups, and these can be singular or plural. If you think of the group as a single unit, use a singular verb. If you think of the group as a number of individuals, use a plural verb. For instance:

Our little group is complete again.
A second group are those parents who feel that they were too harsh.

Our family isn't poor any more.
My family are perfectly normal.

Misused Words

Following on from yesterday, let's take a side-track and look at some of the words that are commonly misused. In English, there are many words that sound similar but which have different meanings, and many words that are different, and mean nearly the same thing, but will confuse your reader if you use them in the wrong place. There are many; I've listed a couple here but I would suggest that you seek out a full list of them, and be careful that the words you use in your story, novel or article, mean exactly what you want them to.

affect/effect

This is one that I come across often in my role as editor. Affect, as a verb, means to influence, to have consequences, as in these examples:

• The decision affected workers in all industries.
• I was very much affected by the glorious singing.

Affected, as an adjective, means artificially showing off, putting on an act:

• He spoke with an affected English accent.

Affect, affected and affective also have psychological meanings; look these up in a good dictionary.

Effect, as a verb, means to cause something to happen, to bring it about:

• He was well out of the crease, but effected a brilliant recovery to avoid being stumped.
• After much litigation, a settlement of the dispute was effected.

Effect, as a noun, means a result or consequence, as in:

• The effect of this decision was lamentable.

accept/except

Accept has a range of meanings that include to take or receive; or to agree (to), admit or believe:

• The television hostess will accept the award on behalf of her show
• Her competitiors accept the judges' decision.

Except means to leave out or exclude:

• Vaccinations are compulsory and the school can except no student.
• Everybody has had coffee except me.

The Editing Process : the first level edit

Over the next week or so I'm going to concentrate on the editing process, talking about the different edits you'll need to do before you send your work out to find a publisher. Begin the first level edit after you have left your first draft aside for awhile, so that you come to it with a fresh eye.

Writers generally use too many words and your job is to read through your work, find and eliminate these. You'll probably find many redundant words; for instance:

an invited guest
a new recruit
usual custom
blue in colour
plan in advance
5 a.m. in the morning
smile on her face
completely surrounded
more superior
really dangerous
cancel out
connect up
merge together

Then you will need to find all those phrases that can be replaced by one word, for example:

a large number of (many)
during the time that (when)
in regard to (about)
on a regular basis (regularly)

There are plenty of good books that will help you with the correct use of words such as, who/that; the/of; as/to/by...and so on.

Make sure that all the words you have used in your story/article are the right words. Do they mean exactly what you want to convey? Make good use of your Thesaurus - an 'almost right word' will not be good enough. When you have all the words right, you will be ready to move onto the next stage of the editing process.

Just do it!

Formal education cannot give us creativity of expression, cannot impart talent, cannot make us skilled writers. What makes a writer is the act of 'doing'. To write we actually need to unlearn spelling and punctuation, forget grammar, and put aside all our assumptions about good and bad writing. Forget everything you have learned and stop thinking! Just write. Just do it.

I know what you're thinking now; a few of my posts here have been about punctuation and grammar, and I've spoken about forms of writing, and so on. But that's all 'after' the act of actually writing. The first draft, the 'story' you're passionate about, the thing you want to say, should be spilled onto the page or pages without recourse to your editor.

When you come to write, just do it; sit down, stop thinking, and write. Forget what anyone has ever said to you about writing, just do it. After you have put it all down, no matter what order or form it's in, then it will be time time for you to tidy it up.

If you can't stop thinking, begin with what you are thinking, even if it's rubbish. Just write, and keep on writing. Just do it. Before you know it you will find yourself writing without thinking and when you stop, there it will be, the story you wanted to write. Of course, it will need work, but it will have passion, it will be what you wanted to say, and it will be sincere.

If you still have problems, write down in a list all the negative thoughts that come into your mind. Banish them to your list, then screw the list up and throw it in the bin.

Just do it; just write.

Writing Exercise

Practice using and understanding point-of-view and how it works with this writing exercise:

Look at some of the stories you have written and try to see what would happen to them if they were told from a different point of view. Or write a new short story just for this exercise and try it from as many points-of-view as possible.

Compare the results and analyse what is missing from each point-of-view used. What works and what doesn't? This exercise will help you understand why one point-of-view works or does not work in one particular story.

Omniscient Third-person Point of View

Use omniscient third-person point of view if:

• readers must know your main character's inner thoughts or feelings in order for the plot to advance
• using the first-person point of view will prevent you showing the main character's weaknesses
• your message will be most effective when readers learn how all characters feel
• you can best further the plot by showing all character's thoughts
  

Using Limited Third-person Point of View

Use limited third-person point of view if:

• using the first-person point of view prevents you showing the main character’s weaknesses
  
• the character is best revealed by permitting readers to observe only what your character does and says
  
• suspense builds most effectively because an objective narrator reports what happens
  
• your main character’s actions are more important that his or her thoughts

Using Third-person Point of View

Use third-person point of view if:

• using the first-person point of view prevents your showing the main character’s weaknesses
  
• your message will be clearer with a narrator who is slightly removed from the scene, reporting your main character’s thoughts and actions
  
• the objectivity of a narrator will add strength to either the character or your message
  
• you can best establish the conflict by sharing only your main character’s thoughts

Which Point of View?

The point of view you use will determine what you can and cannot accomplish in a short story. Consider the sets of guidelines I will post over the next few days to help you choose the point of view most appropriate for meeting all of your short story conditions.

Use first-person point of view if:

• readers must know your main character’s inner thoughts and feelings in order for the plot to advance
• your main character is best revealed by your telling the story from his or her vantage point
• you can best establish the conflict by sharing only your main character’s thoughts

Second-person point of view, Third-person Omniscient and limited

Limited Third-Person point of view is similar to third-person point of view in that it uses he, she, they and them, but different in that this third-person narrator is not part of the story and cannot read any character’s minds.

Omniscient Third-Person point of view: This all-knowing, all-seeing point of view is almost always that of the author-narrator. Only the author knows all, sees all, and understands all. Only he or she can tell what each character thinks, knows, and feels.

Second-Person point of view – which uses the pronoun you - is not used often. It’s difficult to sustain for any length of time and makes for difficult reading. However, it is a great point of view for the right piece.